But I also don’t charge $200 an hour:
But I also don’t charge $200 an hour:
Several weeks, perhaps even months, ago I was chatting with a fellow and mentioned something of the Watergate scandal, which I was at least vaguely aware of when it was The Big Deal (filled the news, etc.) and not just (“ancient”) history. Partway through the explanation of the mess it dawned on the fellow that Watergate, named for the hotel where the break-in happened, was the original -gate and that #GamerGate was not. Good thing I have a thick skull. A ‘facepalm’ with a hoof is a helluva thing.
The whole Scandal -gate suffixing is Rather Tired, I’d say. The great thing about the AbScam sting was it had a name sans -gate. A book about a political scandal written before Watergate was great, no -gate! The one really good use of the suffix was, I think, the Jim & Tammy Faye Bakker mess. Some wag dubbed it Pearli-gate.
And now we supposedly have ComicsGate. I await the day a manufacturer of entrances/exits for fences is embroiled in scandal and we have GateGate. It seems only a matter of time.
Monday morning. The start of a so-called normal person’s work week. And that calls for coffee. Real coffee. Seems someone might have had to make the point with some force:
But I will anyway.
This isn’t and wasn’t me.
Three very important points:
First, I am not that tall.
Second, I do not have teeth that long.
And finally: They went with the lowest bidder.
[ Re: Title – Not being as adept at language and usage as unicorns, I am unsure which is correct. I’d consult a(n) unicorn about it, but they… well, they keep to themselves even more than my kind do. ADDENDUM: Changed in main text, as informed by a commenter. I am preserving the title and this bit so as to not make the comment into nonsense.]
A few years ago I was at a convention, and it was Friday or Saturday night as it was the Time of the Room Parties. I had the privilege of seeing a unicorn. And I got to see what an annoyed unicorn can do without impaling anyone… physically, anyway. It was impressive in how a great an effect could be had with a minimal effort. I should not have been surprised, as unicorns are fantastic (beyond even the ‘usual’ measures for them!) at language.
So… no manure, there I was, watching as a unicorn entered a room party room. There was a bit of a hallway, which was a bit odd, but conventions are hardly noted for their normality. In this hallway were three young male humans. One of which attempted to interpose himself as some sort of gatekeeper. He asked if we agreed that some comic, which I had never heard of, nor evidently had the unicorn, was “the greatest comic ever.” Being honest creatures, we both admitted our ignorance of said comic. Of course this was unbelievable (moreso than a unicorn encounter!) to Comic Book Guy who… expounded, with vigor. Eventually the both of us made it past the gatekeeper(s) and to the alleged party.
The unicorn found little of interest, and I’ve seldom if ever found a unicorn to be of poor judgment, thus we both made our way out. Had it been a simple, unimpeded, trip to the door I’d have forgotten this much as I’ve forgotten a good many things. Ah, but the three fellows were still there, peripheral to everything and signifying nothing. And that meant Comic Book Guy was also still there. And evidently was a True Fan(atic) – subject unchanged, effort redoubled.
And then a thing of vicious beauty, a (mildly) perturbed unicorn in glorious form:
The unicorn passed the first fellow… and quietly proclaimed, “Getting it.”
The unicorn passed the second fellow… and again quietly proclaimed, “Getting it.”
The unicorn passed Comic Book Guy… and slightly less quietly proclaimed. “Virgin.”
And then Comic Book Guy made The Great Mistake, for he complained (loudly), “Damnit!” Which, of course, had the other two fellows erupting in laughter. As they laughed themselves silly, and Comic Book Guy fumed, the unicorn made his escape – and I took advantage of the situation to do the same.
Only one, but if it involves swapping out a fluorescent tube and installing an LED replacement in an under cabinet fixture, and it needs the starter and ballast bypassed, it can get just a bit involved.
It went something like this: Acquire LED replacement, set aside for a few days until there is time to do things in one go and be done.
Remove plastic diffuser/cover from fixture. Remove old fluorescent tube. See ‘Lights of America’ on said tube and be amazed the damn thing ever worked at all (Had previous experience with LoA products. Refuse to give the bastages any more money – ever.) Remove mounting screw number 1 and set aside. Remove mounting screw number 2 and hear it drop… somewhere. Somewhere being nowhere nice and obvious. Make guess it’s in the most annoying place as that’s how things go. Remove plastic cover over wiring. Put both big plastic pieces in sink of soapy water and wonder at how something under a cabinet can get that dirty.
Double check diagram for changing from fluorescent to LED. Remove heavy inductor. Remove starter setup. Strip wires, cut & pre-place shrink tubing, splice, solder, emplace shrink tubing. Repeat for other wire. Cuss as wrong wire is cut and do it all over an extra time. Shrink the shrink tubing. Both All three pieces. Clean inside of fixture. Re-position wiring and (unlike the Lights of America manufacturer) add a bit of strain-relief to power cord.
Clean up plastic covers. Dry them. Dry them again, just to be sure. Plug empty fixture in and switch on. No smoke, no bang, no popped breaker. Good. Add LED tube and… HUZZAH! It works without having to fiddle with anything more. Unplug. NOW put cover on. Repeat smoke/bang test. No smoke, no bang, light still works. Still good. Remove LED tube so mounting holes are accessible.
Start clearing counter and cleaning it up, looking for that missing screw. Sure enough, it fell not onto the counter, but into the Jar-O-Things (mostly pens, some of which even write). Remove various Things. Finally re-acquire the screw.
Look under cabinet to see… oh my word, that needs cleaning first. Clean it. Clean it again. Wonder just what the HELL does that, clean it again and decide it’s good enough. Get first screw partly in, get fixture onto it. Try to get second screw started. Cuss. Repeat. A few times. Dig up small laser pointer. Mount same in chip-bag clip to keep the little button pressed. Prop it all up precariously… with the beam aimed at the screw hole in the cabinet. Get second screw started while being a bit amazed the lashup works long enough. Stow clip, stow laser, finish putting the fixture back into place proper.
Put LED tube in for the hopefully final time. Check it. Works. Look over light cover/diffuser. Which way it goes on matters, but isn’t obvious. Guess wrong, of course. Try again. Finally done.
Except now the counter is partly really clean and neat and mostly bigger nastier mess. Spend even more time sorting, cleaning, organizing. Finding.. good Heavens, that place closed years ago. Toss about half the pens. If they don’t write in a few seconds, they’re not going to. But at least there’s good light for all this.
Decide the last bits of cleaning and sorting can wait. Mix Manhattan and relax a bit.
Looking at how our alleged news media has (mis)handled and (mis)reported anything Trump has been fascinating in a “Look at the trainwreck!” sort of way. It’s been pointed out (by Dinesh D’Souza and presumably others) that what is telling is not that there are errors, those happen, but that the errors have all fallen in the same direction. Mistakes are random; Bias is not. And time after embarrassing time, things that are “too good to check” fail to check out, and aren’t caught or acknowledged until after publication or transmission and reproof by people doing the media’s job for them – actually checking up on things.
It’s like watching an Animaniacs cartoon. The Warners are doing their thing, whatever it might be, and someone gets annoyed or upset about it and goes to throw them out. We see the Warners being picked up. We see them taken to the door. We see them beginning to be pitched out… and next we see the view from outside where the thrower instead sails out the door, in utter bafflement at how the reversal occurred.