[ Re: Title – Not being as adept at language and usage as unicorns, I am unsure which is correct. I’d consult a(n) unicorn about it, but they… well, they keep to themselves even more than my kind do. ADDENDUM: Changed in main text, as informed by a commenter. I am preserving the title and this bit so as to not make the comment into nonsense.]
A few years ago I was at a convention, and it was Friday or Saturday night as it was the Time of the Room Parties. I had the privilege of seeing a unicorn. And I got to see what an annoyed unicorn can do without impaling anyone… physically, anyway. It was impressive in how a great an effect could be had with a minimal effort. I should not have been surprised, as unicorns are fantastic (beyond even the ‘usual’ measures for them!) at language.
So… no manure, there I was, watching as a unicorn entered a room party room. There was a bit of a hallway, which was a bit odd, but conventions are hardly noted for their normality. In this hallway were three young male humans. One of which attempted to interpose himself as some sort of gatekeeper. He asked if we agreed that some comic, which I had never heard of, nor evidently had the unicorn, was “the greatest comic ever.” Being honest creatures, we both admitted our ignorance of said comic. Of course this was unbelievable (moreso than a unicorn encounter!) to Comic Book Guy who… expounded, with vigor. Eventually the both of us made it past the gatekeeper(s) and to the alleged party.
The unicorn found little of interest, and I’ve seldom if ever found a unicorn to be of poor judgment, thus we both made our way out. Had it been a simple, unimpeded, trip to the door I’d have forgotten this much as I’ve forgotten a good many things. Ah, but the three fellows were still there, peripheral to everything and signifying nothing. And that meant Comic Book Guy was also still there. And evidently was a True Fan(atic) – subject unchanged, effort redoubled.
And then a thing of vicious beauty, a (mildly) perturbed unicorn in glorious form:
The unicorn passed the first fellow… and quietly proclaimed, “Getting it.”
The unicorn passed the second fellow… and again quietly proclaimed, “Getting it.”
The unicorn passed Comic Book Guy… and slightly less quietly proclaimed. “Virgin.”
And then Comic Book Guy made The Great Mistake, for he complained (loudly), “Damnit!” Which, of course, had the other two fellows erupting in laughter. As they laughed themselves silly, and Comic Book Guy fumed, the unicorn made his escape – and I took advantage of the situation to do the same.