I, Orvan Taurus, do hereby announce my NON-candidacy for the Office of President of the United States of America. There have been those who have tried to get somewhere as “write-ins.” I make no such attempt. If anything, consider mine perhaps the first “write-out” candidacy. I have no party affiliation. My (non) platform, including any and all campaign promises (there are none, really!) is summed up as follows:
[I’m Orvan Taurus, and I approve this message. I ought to, I wrote the danged thing!]
 And I’m not running for Dog Catcher, either.